It's one of those many nights where I feel like I'm burying myself in self-pity again. I feel awful, but here I am, allowing myself to feel this way over and over again for the past year. 

What do I want in life? I have no idea. One thing for sure is that this is NOT what I want, but why am I still hanging on to that frail hope of seeing myself enjoy it as days go by? Why so? Haven I given myself more than enough time to make a difference to my miserable life? 

What am I doing seriously? So much has been said but nothing has been done. 

Please grant me the courage to take the leap of faith. 

It's really NOW or never...